Before we go on a date many of us have a preconceived notion of what we want, how that date should be and many other ideas. This could make things difficult as it is rarely exactly what we expect when we do date someone new. In fact it could be a huge difference between expectation and reality.
When you are out with a date, you are usually trying to see if the person is a good match for you. How do you decide this? Do you find that you look for someone with different
and complimentary qualities, or do you seek someone that shares your same point of view or values? Be open minded as this can help you see the mystery in the person.
If you go on a date expecting the person to be as you envision them it can interfere with seeing the real person. You need to be flexible in your thinking or expectations so you can experience the reality of the situation. Sometimes the experience or situation is one that will have a lasting influence on our lives if we only let things happen and not try to force them to be as we want them to be.
Dropping our expectations can help let the person in front of you actually appear. We often draw conclusions about someone too soon. For instance, a woman may have a
designer's handbag. This doesn't mean her whole life revolves around fashion, but you may make that judgment. Similarly a person may view someone as introverted and too
quiet but after the person is comfortable they usually become much more talkative.
I know that is probably the case with me. I am usually very quiet and speak little. I always try to listen closely as much as possible so I understand where the person I am with is coming from and I am on the same track as them in my understanding of their conversation. However if I am with someone I know well or someone who shares the same interests as me I am just the opposite and sometimes it's hard for me to shut up.
By looking at your expectations you can discover ideas you heard from your parents, or possibly other adults that you know that have gone through this before, which you've adopted as well as assumptions your peers may have. Try to look closely at whether you hold these expectations out of habit or if these are really important traits to you. Look at some of your "must have" requirements. Are some of them superficial such as hair color, eye color, or maybe more importantly, the person's height?
Certain preferences can be important such as one's religious orientation or goals. Reflect deeply to see the superficial expectations you hold versus the more substantial values you'd like for a mate. Remember that the more you narrow your preferences, the more you eliminate potential partners. Also your preferences are not set in stone and like many other things they can change. Even one person that doesn't meet many of your preferences could be the one person you might choose to be your partner.
Keeping an open mind can also expose you to new ideas you may have not tried or even thought of. For instance, you may have thought you couldn't connect with someone who loves horses. By having them explain to you their passion, you may see the grace, beauty and strength that your date sees in them. It doesn't mean it has to become your hobby, but you can still develop an appreciation for what they like.
Unless you meet someone who is a clone of yourself, it will always be the case that people have different interests and it is nice to be able to share them with another person. In fact, it is likely that your interests include some things that your date does not have. It would be most unusual that two different people from different families and experiences have exactly the same interests and likes as their partner or date.
So keep an open mind as to your date and what to expect. Try not to make it a habit to categorize their likes and dislikes and what makes them happy and how to please them before you have the actual date. A new date is always a learning experience and there is no real way to shortcut that learning process other than to go on the date and size up things in real life and not in your imagination.
Copyright © Honey B. Wackx
About Author :
Honey B. Wackx is an aspiring author and computer software computer software. She writes many articles for herself and other website owners. One of Honey B's favorite interests is weddings and wedding accessories. Another is online dating and relationships. Honey B. likes to cook .
