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Humor
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| Global Warming Update: Eskimos Spot First Palm Tree
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In an especially inarguable event that global warming is proceeding apace, a group of Eskimos noticed - while hunting for caribou on the sort of unusually balmy day that they've been experiencing with ever-growing frequency - a tree they were not familiar with, growing high above the tundra.
Priding themselves on knowing the flora and ... |
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28 Dec 2008 10:47:44 By Tom Attea |
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| IT'S JEST JANUARY!
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Copyright "The Quipping Queen" 2005.
CALENDAR OF ODD EVENTS - JAN. 2005 -- Eccentric events and odd
occasions to celebrate in January 2005 --
**Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl
Craboon
January is, to put it bluntly, a bit of a merry-impaired month
as far as the Gregorian calendar is concer ... |
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27 Dec 2008 03:50:49 By B. Blitterlees & E. Craboon |
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| Under A Cuban Moon
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HAVANA,May 20 (www.cubanet.org) - Cuban authorities have implemented strict security measures at the embarkation points for the small ferries crossing Havana bay.Now, before boarding, all passengers must go through a metal detector. Newly posted signs warn passengers they can’t carry furniture or birthday cakes…
You know how it is on a ... |
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14 Dec 2008 10:54:08 By Bill Dollar |
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| Why Is There "Egg" On My Hamburger?
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Have you ever had egg and red beet root on your hamburger?
I haven't... in fact, when I pulled the top of the bun off my
burger at "Hungry Jack's" and saw not the usual pickle, onion
and special sauce, but beet root and a fried egg, you could have
picked my chin up off the floor with a spatula.
HOW in the world does anybody eat egg ... |
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29 Nov 2008 08:33:37 By Jim Edwards |
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| Mother's Trying to Find Time to Pamper!! Not
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TIME FOR A PAMPER
As a parent, many of you will be aware of how little time we
have to really take time out of the normal slog of life and
pamper ourselves. Much of the time is spent ferrying our
children to various activities. Energy is used hollering and
shouting at them to do their homework, tidy their room, stop the
fighting, turn do ... |
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18 Nov 2008 03:32:52 By Esther Austin |
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| `And How Do We Feel This Morning?'
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Without question, going to the hospital is teamwork from the
time you arrive until you are wheeled out the front door.
Everyone is working together for the common good of the patient,
or at least a crack at his bank account. That is as it should be
in such mercenary endeavors.
Spending a few days in the hospital recently reinforce ... |
| Posted
02 Nov 2008 01:37:37 By Rev. James L. Snyder |
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| Bat Ejection Techniques - Country Survival Course #27
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People lie! They lie about the bliss of rural relocation. They
lie about the size of fish they catch. They lie about being
there for you. But, mostly, they lie about bats! Such a silly
thing, yet no one can admit the ugly truth. "Bats only come into
your house. It never happens to me," friends say. Liars!
Evidence to the contrary exists. Ba ... |
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30 Oct 2008 02:23:24 By Nola Kelsey |
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| Bovine Resort
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Meat is murder - I understand that - but what if it weren't
murder? Would it be alright to eat it, then? The reason I was
thinking of this was that I almost hit a couple of wild turkeys
while driving to work today and it occurred to me that if I had
hit them it wouldn't be murder at all and their meat would be
free of th ... |
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15 Oct 2008 10:22:36 By Steve Sommers |
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| Bob Hope Wasn't The Only One Who Used Idiot Cards
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When Bob Hope moved into television, he lost the opportunity to
hold his script in his hand , something he had gotten used to
working in radio. The presentation would look too stiff to his
audience. He tried to memorize his monologues, but that proved
to be too cumbersome of a task and it took away from his ... |
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28 Sep 2008 10:30:08 By Stephen Schochet |
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| YOUR HAIKU ERROR MESSAGES FOR THE DAY
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Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
YOUR HAIKU ERROR MESSAGES FOR THE DAY
While many disparage the advent of glitches in our wired world,
the only way to find solace and sanity is to return to the
ancient teachings.
"Haiku", (a Japanese style of poetry), offers readers a way to
experience the daily dilemmas of our digital community from a
novel p ... |
| Posted
19 Aug 2008 04:51:56 By Victoria Elizabeth |
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| Moose Vamoose For Mars; Too Many People On Earth
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"We'll take two tickets to Mars," a bear said, holding out the fare with his paw.
"Two tickets it is," the ticket agent at Animal Escape said, and handed them over. "Please, have a seat in the waiting room. The next rocket departs in one hour."
"Thanks," the bear replied, and headed for a nearby bench with his mate and thei ... |
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28 Jul 2008 10:54:52 By Tom Attea |
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| Weather Woman
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Sometimes you just get lucky.
I ran out of gas in Paiper Machet, Louisiana, on my way to a
convention for freelance bumper sticker writers. My "Watch Out
For The Idiot Behind Me" had become an industry classic and I
was to be the keynote speaker.
This was in the days before there was an all-night convenience
store with self-service gas pumps on ... |
| Posted
25 Jun 2008 10:28:03 By Tom Hale |
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| Just One Of Those Hellish Days
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------------------------------------------------- Just One Of
Those Hellish Days…
-------------------------------------------------
by Dagmar Rakos
That was one of those days - I call them hell days, my friends
call them haunted - when nothing seemed to work.
Everything what could go wrong, went.
First my main desktop computer played it's ... |
| Posted
22 Jun 2008 07:22:45 By Dagmar Rakos |
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| Sensational new evidence proving origins of Teddy Boys
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Sensational cover up exposed, original Teddy Boys were really
bears all the time.
Thanks to this exclusive Stiffsteiffs exposé, Teddy Boys make
their comeback.
Everyone thinks rock and roll kicked off Teddy Boys, but the
very name should give you a clue.
This pair, Phil and Don, are tough Teddy Boys ... |
| Posted
02 Jun 2008 04:40:30 By malcolm james pugh |
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| Lord Almighty, A Christian Site
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Lord Almighty, A Christian Site
By Punkerslut
Jesus is lord! Wheee!!!!
So there I was, just cruising the internet looking for a batch
of pornography. I go to www.busty-amateurs.com, an old-time
favorite site, and what do I see!? No content, no join, no
free-tour (heh, what I used everytime), no news, just "Jesus
Christ ... |
| Posted
13 May 2008 05:39:42 By Punkerslut |
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| IT'S NUTTY NOVEMBER!
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Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
IT'S NUTTY NOVEMBER!
Or, in other words, "National Nudnik Month"!
Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl
Craboon
November is the 11th month of the calendar year, so what else is
new?
Well for one thing this month features a good many things f ... |
| Posted
13 May 2008 05:39:42 By B. Blitterlees & E. Craboon |
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| The $600,000 Quarter - A True Story
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The $600,000 Quarter - A True Story By Rocky Ramsey
My father has what can only be described as fantastically good
luck or horribly bad luck. You'll have to be the judge with this
one. This is a true story.
Several months ago my parents went to a Biloxi casino and were
waiting in line for breakfast. The casino, b ... |
| Posted
13 May 2008 05:39:42 By Rocky Ramsey |
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| How Time Flies When I Am In A Hurry
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Have you ever noticed that when you are on vacation time goes by
rapidly? According to my calculations (and I'm the first to
admit I didn't do well in calculus), the average minute during
vacation time is less than 20 seconds. This is one reason time
goes by so quickly on vacation.
The other reason, as everyone knows, is that during a vaca ... |
| Posted
13 May 2008 05:39:42 By Rev. James L. Snyder |
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| Cut Your Smoking - But Not In Half!
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Sigmund Freud once said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." Any self-respecting cigar smoker, however, will tell you that a cigar is far less a cigar when the correct arts are not applied to the preparation of the cigar and the execution of the act itself. The first act in the ritual is cutting the cigar cap, a ... |
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13 May 2008 05:39:42 By Bradlley Mckoy |
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| The Daily Show is a Must See on Comedy Central
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Doesn’t it seem that today there is nothing but bleak reports to hear on the news? Watching the news can give you a feeling that the world is coming to an end. Hope can be found on Comedy Central by means of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
Comedy Central features stand-up comedians, shows, and movies that are all meant to make yo ... |
| Posted
13 May 2008 05:39:42 By Kaitlin |
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| Looking for an Alternative Building Material? How Do Danielle Steel Novels Sound?
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Straw bale housing, subterranean homes, houses made of flying concrete--prospective homeowners and contractorsare coming up an increasing variety of alternative building materials that are environmentally friendly and sustainable. But I've got another idea; I want to build a home out of Danielle Ste ... |
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13 May 2008 05:39:42 By Aldene Fredenburg |
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| Build Your Own Paraglider - Honest!
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Well, it's possible to 'build own paraglider'. But it's been pretty hard in the past to find a paraglider kit or a set of decent paraglider plans. So you have to admire the small number of enterprising companies on the web that have now made it possible to 'build own paraglider', and dirt cheap at that. Let's look at a few now... ... |
| Posted
13 May 2008 05:39:42 By Tim Parish |
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| Hitting The Fan
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In the past people have occasionally accused me of talking shit.
But nobody can say I'm not serious about my subject. In fact you
could say I have a Masters degree in coprology! In recent months
I have been busy writing a paper (toilet paper, obviously)
entitled "What Really Happens When the Shit Hits the Fan ?".
Cle ... |
| Posted
13 May 2008 05:20:49 By Chris P Bohn |
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| Obama Budget May Include Money For Americans
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In his bid to become the Democratic nominee for President, Barack Obama took the unusual stance of advocating that at least some of the federal budget be earmarked for Americans.
As is well known, during the Bush administration, essentially all of the budget has been allocated to foreign adventures and misadventures, while even esse ... |
| Posted
13 May 2008 04:58:37 By Tom Attea |
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| Magic Shows
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Knowing that you need to better understand this topic I recommend that you take 5 minutes to read what we have to say.Magic shows let in many various art forms including illusion, sleight of hand and misdirection. In fact, anything and everything that cannot be explained, mostly falls under the heading ... |
| Posted
13 May 2008 04:43:25 By Michael Malega |
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| Three colors, six tenuous links
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It was Christmas Eve last year that the car carrier, Tricolor,
was issued with a wreck removal notice. Having been crashed into
by a ship trying to overtake it, it has been lying there a wreck
ever since. I know how it must have felt.
I was issued with a wreck removal notice on Christmas Eve also.
I felt a ... |
| Posted
13 May 2008 04:31:25 By Pem Charnley |
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